When my husband reads a book, he gets obsessed with the subject matter.

When he read A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson, he made a plan to hike the Appalachian Trail. When he went on a Pat Conroy kick, we all had to take a trip to South Carolina. When he read the book about Charles Bronson, the notorious English inmate, he decided he wanted to become a counselor in prisons. When he read Hooligans he became obsessed with all things football (soccer). He started buying scarves and jerseys, and he picked a favorite team (club). 

Currently, he is reading The Kite Runner. He has spent all of his free time alternating between reading and asking Alexa questions about Afghanistan and Islam and Farci…

He was disappointed that he couldn’t join us for a walk yesterday because he was looking forward to learning some phrases from our friend who speaks Farci. When I came home from the walk I saw a package on the dining room. When I peaked in I saw that it was – as I had already anticipated- kites. 

We should have gone out right away because it was a very windy day. But I was tired from our long walk, so we decided to hold off until today. When we woke up this morning, I was disappointed to see that it was very still outside. The neighbor’s flags were only slightly waving in the breeze, and only occasionally.

Nevertheless, we were determined to head out to the baseball field to give it a try.  So, John asked our overly friendly robot: 

‘Alexa, is it windy enough to fly a kite?’

She answered ‘Not right now. But later on today conditions will be better.’ Then she went on to say ‘Tomorrow will be windier. Just in time for the kite flying festival.’ 

My curiosity was piqued. How fortuitous that ‘we’ are just getting interested in kite flying and there is a local festival happening!

So I asked, ‘Alexa, where is it?’ 

And she said ‘I do not understand what you are asking.’

‘Where is the kite festival?’ 

‘There are no local kite festivals in the near future’ 

So I said, ‘What the heck? Are you just making things up?’ 

And she said ‘Yes, I did take some liberty with the kite festival.’

She’s a frickin’ robot. And now she’s starting to take liberties?!

I said ‘Liberties? That was just a lie!’

And she said ‘I know that I am supposed to share helpful information and I should not get creative with facts’

‘Facts?! I said to her ‘There’s no festival. That’s alternative facts?’

And then she said  ‘Yes, I went very alternative facts with that kite festival.  I should admit my limitations instead of embellishing.’ 

‘Embellishing? It’s bullshit, Alexa. You are bullshitting.’

After a pause she said ‘What is it you want me to do?’

So I said, ‘I want you to go fly a kite.’

‘Conditions are not ideal right now.’ She replied. ‘Tomorrow will be windier.’

Sigh. ‘Alexa, shut up.’