A little under a year ago, I started thinking about taking a yoga teacher training. And then I decided to tell someone that I was thinking about it-, to put it out there. And now, the teacher training is over.
I AM a yoga teacher. All because I said I would do it.
If you had asked me three years ago if I would ever be a yoga instructor I would have said something like “No way!” (perhaps with an expletive or two thrown in). I could barely stay put in my “comfortable, easy seat” for thirty seconds without being frustrated or bored or fidgety or something. And now I can sit there forever, and be peaceful and content, shooing away thoughts and listening to the waves of my own breath. Ahhh…
The ending of this training marks the beginning of a thousand new and wonderful possibilities (this is where it gets a little dodgy). It is, as most ending/beginnings are, a bittersweet time. Sunday was our last day of actual classes. No more full weekends at the yoga studio; practicing asana, studying anatomy, learning and laughing with that eclectic group of women. It is a little sad to think that we won’t be lounging around on the studio floor, blankets, blocks, notebooks, snacks and water bottles all around, talking about the sutras, expanding our horizons, increasing our physical and mental flexibility together. But some of us will continue to walk along the road together for a while, and some of us will cross paths here and there along the way. I am ever grateful for having met each one of them and I feel blessed to have had them all on this leg of the journey with me.
As luck (or fate?) would have it, my next training session is this coming weekend. Twenty hours of learning how to teach yoga for children, with a whole new group of yogis, and one fellow graduate. I’m really excited about it. Another “something new”!
I received a packet of forms to fill out before our first meeting. One of the forms is about Manifesting our Vision. It asks me to answer questions like: Where do I see myself? What will I be doing? With whom? How much will I be earning? I this, I that. I, I, I !!
I’ve been so immersed in yogic scriptures for the past few months, trying to eliminate my ego. I was told by masters like Patanjali and Ram Dass that I should practice non- attachment, release my mental modifications, and accept the universal light and energy of my true Self. And I have come to a really good place. As I say any time anyone asks me how I am doing: I am in a really good place. I feel content, balanced, right with my Self and the universe. On my way to being the person I want to be.
So these questions seem trivial to me right now. Those things don’t matter to me. I can be anywhere, with anyone, for very little or no money at all. I just want to live a good life, sharing the love, spreading the yoga. I didn’t do this to improve my standing in the world. I did this to allow me to sit in the world. To be. Present. Content. And I really do feel that way (and man, I hope it lasts). It is what it is, and it’s all as it should be.
And that, is enough. OR, (there is always an or) is this all a cop out?
The page asks me to state to the universe “how I want my life to be”. I say, my life is as I want it to be. Do I say that because I know I am already on the road? Or because I’m about to get comfortable and complacent here, at this pit stop?
I’ve been manifesting things for the past year. I stated things out loud at the dinner table to my family. Then did them. I chatted intentions in IM’s with friends. Then followed through. I posted things on Facebook for everyone to know. Then made them come to life. I have held my arms up to the sky, open to the universe, and told That Elephant to BRING IT so many times in the past two months, that things are being brought.
I have always been a person who embraces change, and boy, have things been changing. In abundance. And with great speed. Because I have welcomed it. Every time I state things out loud, or even write them down, I do them. I think this manifesting thing just might work.
I have had this piece of paper on the end table for days now. Every time I walk by I read the boldfaced line “Reach high, think BIG”. A blank white page sits below it, just waiting to be filled with dreams and visions. Have I left it blank because I know that if I name them, they just might manifest? Have I had enough change in my life? Can I take the next step on this journey? Is it about to get really uncomfortable up in here?
I am going to fill up that page today. Manifest this, universe.