Trigger Happy

Happy Valentine’s Day!  We’re halfway through our 28 Days of Rehab experiment.  Week 2 has been quite a challenge for me.

Going into this, I knew there would be cravings.  But I have fought much bigger addictions than bread before. I quit smoking. Many, many times.  And each time, I knew that I would have to avoid my triggers: a cup of coffee, a beer, picking up the phone, people in general, waking up.

I thought I knew what the beer/wine triggers would be; social situations, boredom, maybe frustration.  I had no idea what my bread triggers would be, but I knew that social situations always involved unhealthy food options.  So I cleared my calendar of trigger events as much as possible.

My plan to was to combat the cravings by replacing bread and beer with other things, healthy foods and endorphin releasing activities.    I was going to take a few extra yoga classes and try to get back to running a couple of times a week.

But apparently Ganesh and Mother Nature got together this year.  Shoveling obstacle upon obstacle my way, piling obstruction upon obstruction in my path, in the form of snow.  Endless, unrelenting snow. Ruthless, unmerciful,  incessant snow.

And guess what? Unrelenting snow seems to be a trigger.  A big freakin’ trigger.

Perhaps it’s just the sheer enormity of it. The great white wall closing in around me. Trapped, bound by snow, with absolutely no control over the situation.  I think I know how Jack Torrence felt. Trapped in that hotel. Sober.  Fantasizing about sitting at the bar drinking beer and eating pretzels. Ready to snap at any moment.  All veggies and no bread make Kim a dull girl…

Instead of being able to go out and take a run or get to extra yoga classes I have found some other substitutes.  Coffee. Tons of coffee.  And chocolate.  I am eating quite a bit of chocolate.   My substitutes are caffeine and sugar, lots of sugar.

This morning when I made Shannon heart shaped pancakes for breakfast I was surprised to find that I didn’t want to eat the pancakes, but I did want to chug the entire bottle of maple syrup.  So I put a little syrup in my oatmeal.  It wasn’t quite the same.

I plan on using the next half of the month to find better alternatives: roll out my yoga mat,  turn up the music and dance around the house, and try to cut back on the chocolate and coffee.

I’ll probably start on Monday. Wouldn’t want to waste all of that Valentine’s candy.

bead and chcoclate


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