For the past few weeks I’ve been playing a game on my phone, 2048. If you don’t have the app yet, DO NOT download it. There is no reason for it. Unless you are trying to avoid all of the really important things in your life, like bathing and eating, and sleeping.

After a few days of playing the game whenever I was waiting somewhere, or had “down time”, it began to spread into real time. It kept me up a little later at night, and I started playing with my morning coffee. It was getting out of control. So I decided that I would delete the app.

But before I had the chance to delete it I received a text message from my sister-in-law. It was a screenshot saying YOU WON!!

Ugh. So, it is winnable. Okay. I’ll try for just one more day.

And then the next day a friend posted on Facebook: “I can die now”, with another winning screen shot.

Sigh. Now I can’t delete it. I have to get to 2048, just once. Just once! And then I can delete it.

For the past two days I’ve been basically confined to the couch by some fresh helluva flu-bug. I managed to read a couple of chapters of my current book. I did a few minor chores, and took care of my family’s basic needs, but other than that, all I have been doing is lying here playing 2048.

One more time. Just one more time. I can do this!

It has become my white whale. I am even seeing numbers in my sleep.  And I am not a numbers person.

What the hell am I doing? As I mindlessly slide 2’s into 2’s and 4’s into 4’s, can I find some mindfulness? Why am I playing? Did I really need another time suck in my life? What can I learn from this?

I have become obsessed. I made up my mind to beat this game and now I have to beat it. But why don’t I use this tenacity to work on other things in my life? To sit down and write a book? Or get up and work on my handstand? Or train for a 10K?  Clean my house? Anything but this!

There are so many other places in my life where I could apply this stick-to-itiveness. Why don’t I?

I don’t know the answers to any of these questions today. I am in a pseudoephedrine fog right now. I don’t really know much of anything at the moment.  I’m surprised I can type…

But I do know I am going to delete this 2048 app.

Tomorrow.