When I ask her, Alexa™️ informs me that the sun will set at 4:45pm. But our house sits near the base of the mountains, and the sun dips down behind the ridge at 4:15pm.

I feel shortchanged. The mountains have stolen 30 minutes of precious November sunlight.

When I woke up this morning, it was cloudy and gray. The temperature was a few degrees below freezing for the first time this fall. Looking out at the leafless trees, I had a premonition of the bleak midwinter. It sent a chill up my spine.

When I sat down to meditate around 11:30am, I covered myself with blanket to keep warm. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the breath moving in and out of my nostrils. But my mind kept running away from my nose! No amount of gentle coaxing would bring it back.

I decided that I would try to focus on counting. Rather than using one-one-thousand, two-one-thousand… I began repeating over and over one-peace-and-love, two-peace-and-love…

Somewhere around twenty-peace-and-love, something started happening.

A small yellow ball of light began to form, somewhere far off in front of my closed eyes. It grew larger and larger, as if it were coming closer and closer. I realized that my thoughts were getting caught up in it. So I tried to simply rest my concentration on the dark space inside my forehead.

The small light formed again. It grew larger, and seemingly closer, until it filled up the vast space in front of my closed eyes. As it grew larger and closer it changed color from bright yellow to a paler yellow, it grew from a small circle to a large ring. And then it seemed to pass over and behind me. Immediately, another small ball of light formed in the distant darkness.

I tried to rest my attention on the movement of the light, but I was having thoughts. Holy shit! This is a psychedelic experience! I am tripping here!

Each time the ball got bigger and closer I could actually physically feel the wave of warmth washing over my whole body.

The skin on my face felt warm. My chest felt warm. My whole body felt warm. I was being enveloped in light, and warmth. I felt a deep sense of calm inner peace. And I was also bursting with an overwhelming sense of joy.

The yellow ball of light kept moving towards me, growing larger, becoming a ring, and washing over me. Again and again and again. Until the meditation bell chimed.

I didn’t want it to end. But I slowly, reluctantly opened my eyes. And when I did, I was practically blinded by the intense white light of the room.

While I was tripping in my chair, the gray cloud cover had cleared away, and the sun had appeared. It had been shining through the sliding glass door, directly onto me.

I was completely covered in light, from head to toe. It was a surreal, real experience.

And now, as the sun sets, too quickly behind the ridge, as the room grows dark, and winter comes to knock on the door, I close my eyes. And remember.