As a teenager in the 1980s and early 90s, I worked behind a counter at a corner store. I was a short order cook/waitress/soda jerk, aka Honey/Babe/Sweetie. I spent most of my time flipping eggs, refilling coffees and having deep conversations with a clientele of mostly single older men who sat at the counter smoking cigarettes, reading the newspaper, and filling in crossword puzzles. They were much older than 16 year old me, but in retrospect, some of them were very young.

In the mid to later 80s, I watched from behind the counter as many of them became thinner, frailer, and ashier, until one by one, they just stopped showing up for breakfast. My young mind didn’t realize what was happening. I didn’t make the connection. 

When I was assigned a research paper in my senior year of high school, one of the regular customers suggested that I write about AIDS. He said I should compare it to the Black Plague. He said a paper like that could get picked up and published, if I did it right. At the time I had no idea that he was a well known writer and revered civil rights activist who had a lot of influence in Newark. To me he was just the guy who liked the extra grease patted off his bacon with a paper towel.

He fully believed that one day HIV would be just like any other sexually transmitted disease. ‘Herpes,’ he said. ‘It’ll be just like herpes. People will have it, manage it, and it will be no big deal.’ This was 1985. So I didn’t think he was right. I was afraid it would just keep getting worse, but he was hopefully forward thinking. His partner died of AIDS a few years later.

He himself lasted almost 20 more, because with some –eventual– governmental focus on research, it did become less and less of a death sentence. It did become more manageable. It did become more like every other STD. I know people who have been living normal healthy lives with HIV for over 40 years. And preventative and interventive medicines are now available.

December 1st is World AIDS day, a day to recognize that the HIV epidemic still exists, and that working towards prevention and cure should still be a focus of medical research communities across the globe.

The US Government has made a conscious choice not to recognize the day as such.  That may seem like an insignificant thing to some people, but shifting the focus away from the disease could definitely impact a resurgence. And that would be devastating.  

We have come a long way. Such a long way. And I have not forgotten any of them. Barry, Robbie, Eddie, Julie, Marco, Al, Derek… I am thinking of you all today. You, and the others whose names I can’t recall, but whose breakfast orders I still remember.