As I stir from my sleep, I hear them. First the violins. Then the voices.

Two weeks have passed, and I still can’t shake it. I wake up with them in my head. And they linger there, all day. At random moments, I find myself tapping out their rhythms, humming their melodies, singing out loud.

My kids warned me. They said this would happen. ‘You’re gonna be obsessed!’

My youngest bought me a ticket, because she said I absolutely had to see it. She also wanted to see it a second time, because it was that good. I was trying to keep my expectations low though, because… well… Robots.

That’s all I knew. It was a musical, about robots.

My oldest had seen it, back when it first came to Broadway, with their NYU musical writing MFA classmates, and told me it was one of the best shows they had EVER seen. That is mighty high praise. But still, I thought… it’s about robots. Why robots?

So we took a trip into The City to the Belasco Theater. When we arrived at our seats I looked around in awe at the beauty of the historical building. I tilted my head back and looked up at the ceiling. Listening to all of the sounds around me. Taking it all in.

There was a man sitting all alone on the stage in a comfy arm chair next to a floor lamp. He was reading a book, and he occasionally rose to change the album on the old record player. He was listening to jazz music, which we could all hear. He was there, on the stage, for a long time, while the seats slowly filled. I was fascinated by him.

And then, the lights went down, and it began.

By the second line of the first song- ‘Why Love?’ I was covered in goosebumps. It was a brand new sound that felt like an old familiar standard. Smooth, warm, nostalgic. And just when I was about to understand the answer to the titular question, it ended. I wanted more of that! 90 seconds was not enough.

Halfway through the second song, my throat tightened and I felt tears welling up behind my eyes. The lyrics were skillfully telling a simple story but the musical phrasing was touching something deep inside me. It was emotional and evocative. The strings! The melody! The fullness of sound in that amazing theater. Darren Criss’s voice. His perfectly robotic portrayal- unemotionally emotional. It was all so overwhelming.

When the second little room opened up on stage and Helen J Shen began singing, it was all I could do to contain myself. Her beautiful sweet sounding voice, singing about inevitable changes, set to bright, almost jaunty music. She had me just on the verge of bawling.

And the scenery! Oh, the darks and lights of the scenery. The movements of the machinery. The set became a main character, as my kids told me it would. I allowed myself to be fully immersed in every beautiful, hysterical, hopeful moment of it.

And then it all ended. Too soon. 90 minutes was not enough!

We lingered there in the theater for a long time. I didn’t want to move. I wanted to sit there and process what I had just experienced. Wanted to hold on to the feelings. Didn’t want it to be over. Didn’t want it to end.

Which is exactly the point. Endings… Maybe happy endings.

I have been streaming the soundtracks in both English and Korean for the past two weeks. Totally skewing my Spotify Wrapped.

I may be a bit obsessed. I want to tell everyone about it. I want to dissect every lyrical and melodical phrase. I want to write a dissertation. I want to keep feeling it. Over and over again. Don’t want it to end. Don’t want to forget the feeling. It may be affecting me. Maybe.

A few days after seeing it, I was stopped at a red light. To my left, I saw a couple coming out of Dunkin’ Donuts. They were in their late 80s. He was walking, shakily, with a cane in his left hand. She was tiny woman, but she was holding him up on his right side. I watched as she tried valiantly to keep him steady. And then l thought about those damn robots. And their maybe happy ending.

I swallowed hard, and turned my head to the right. I saw a woman, in her 60s, waiting for the bus. She made eye contact with me. It was as if she had seen me looking at the elderly couple. It was as if she knew about the maybe happy endings too. And I smiled at her. A knowing sort of smile. A maybe happy smile.

As the light turned green, I took one more look at them all, and drove away. As the tears fell down my face, I thought Why, Robots?! Why did you do this to me?

Maybe it really wasn’t a musical about robots after all. Maybe.