What would your life look like if it were bigger, bolder, and brighter?
I asked this question at the beginning of our Yoga Practice for Pride the other day. When I think of Pride I think of the big, bold, bright colors of the rainbow flag, and I think of the hope, that every one might have the ability to live a big, bold, bright existence, standing strong and proud in their own authenticity. So many of us have been made to tone ourselves down, make ourselves smaller or quieter and less emotional, to dim our light, for one reason or another.
But even if the world around us is open and accepting, living a life of bigness, boldness, and brightness takes courage, trust and strength, and a whole lot of energy and effort.
I know there are some folks who took advantage of the past 15 months to do good work, to accomplish big things. I know some people didn’t have the luxury of sheltering in a safe place, and working from home. Everyone’s stories are different.
I also know that the pandemic has made a lot of our lives smaller than they’ve ever been. And for those of us who find it challenging to be big and bold, the lockdowns and social restrictions made it easier for us to shrink down to our smaller, more comfortable selves. The lingering traumas of the pandemic continue to make it feel necessary to shrink away from a bigger life, in order to protect ourselves from more pain.
Now that the restrictions are being lifted, we have the opportunity to take our shrunken selves back out there into the world. Returning to our larger lives will be an adventure. We emerge from our Covid caves as different people than we were 15 months ago. Some of us determined, some defiant, some gun-shy.
Living a bigger, bolder, brighter life might seem impossible right now. I know when I sit with the idea it brings up a lot of different emotions. I can feel my heart beat a little faster. My breath gets a little shallower. Something stirs in the pit of my stomach.
But I’ve realized that right now, for me, bigger and bolder doesn’t mean anything monumental. It might be as simple as saying yes to that BBQ invitation. Or wearing brightly colored clothes instead solid black. Or making a phone call.
I’m not trying to be bigger, bolder, and brighter than I was 20 years ago. Or 2 years ago. I’m just hoping to be bigger, bolder, and brighter than I was yesterday. In some small way.
And even if our lives look small from the outside, I know that there is something inside of me that is bigger and bolder and brighter. And I know that there is something inside of you that is bigger and bolder and brighter. And that part of me will always honor that part of you.